I turned 31 on the 9th of May. The last 30 years were exciting, and I can’t wait to see what will come next. I would like to share with you the 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years.
1. Only I can make myself happy
Happiness is a feeling of well-being. It does not depend on the places I go and the people I see. It is the ability to accept all the things around me and within me which I can not change, and work on the things that I don’t like and which I can change.
2. Love is weird
We love people who don’t love us, and we don’t love people who love us. That just doesn’t make any sense.
3. I need other people to share
I enjoy my solitude; however I know that without any other people in my life, I would feel empty. In my 30 years, I’ve learned that the experience and all the memories I make are the best when shared.
4. Men and women are different
Women constantly change; during our menstruation, with the pregnancy, after we get a baby, with menopause, etc. Men never change (quotation from my friend Brian).
5. The mind is powerful
Positive thinking attracts favourable circumstances, and negative mind attracts the opposite. Have a positive spirit makes me a lucky person.
6. Dreams come true
And if they don’t, it was not meant to be.
7. If I never ask, I will never know
Many people wonder: ‘how did you get that?’ or even are jealous and compare themselves: ‘why do you have such a good salary and me not?’. And I say: ‘well, did you ask for it?’. No, they didn’t. Let me give you an example: I didn’t know where to go during the corona crisis, and I just asked: ‘I need help, can you help me?’ And now I live safely in a beautiful house. This is just one of the millions of examples I have.
8. I do not have to prove anything to anybody
I used to think I needed to prove to everybody how strong and smart I was. However, with age, I realized that first of all, I am not always that tough or clever, and second, no one really cares if I am or not.
9. Jealousy, envy and lack of forgiveness are the biggest obstacles in life
I used to date someone who I really liked. He told me that he had been in love with someone else for a long time. I said: ‘how cool is that! I am glad that you have found someone who can give you these great feelings!’ – and I also meant it. He asked, ‘are you not angry?’ And I responded: ‘no, I wish you all the best’.
And you know what? Although, at that moment, a part of me wished that he would come back and love me as much, the way that I dealt with it gave me inner peace and freedom. If I, on the other hand, got jealous, angry and couldn’t forgive him, this would become my own obstacle.
10. I stopped accept people with negative energy in my life
Some people can always complain. If they do, I ask them to leave.
11. Better to be single than to be with not so perfect match
Many people are in unhealthy or boring relationships, and I am asking myself: why? I am not going to waste my time doing this, because I am happy enough on your own. I would rather stay single until the end of my life, than be with someone who doesn’t fit me 100%.
12. I don’t care about what others think about me or my life
There are people out here who are like: ‘omg, this Karo, she is doing this or that, this is never gonna work, why is she doing it, how stupid is it, how bad her English is, how strange, etc.’. And you know what? I’m impressed by how much time these people spend on investigating my life instead of making something with theirs.
13. It is good to show emotions
Ok, this one is an easy one for an extrovert like me. I cry when I feel like crying and laugh at loud when I feel like it (of course I try to respect the circumstances). Some people hide emotions for ages, and I do not get it, it would kill me.
14. It is always right, to tell the truth, and to hear the truth, even if it hurts
I am not saying that I can deal perfectly with the truth; Nevertheless, for the long term, I do prefer to hear the truth rather than pretty lies.
15. Independence is the queen
In my 30 years, I’ve learned to have a few pillars – not just one – on which I built my life. Let me give you an example: The first pillar is work, the second pillar is the partner, the third pillar is the best friend, and the fourth one is some hobby, for instance, sport. If I break up with my partner and leaving the house in anger, I will slip on the stairs, and I will break my leg, so I can not go to work nor exercise anymore, I will still have my friend who can support me through this time :D:D
16. Society is not always right
Just because something is accepted in my society, it doesn’t mean that this is the right thing for me (For example ‘I do not want to settle down‘). Travelling opens the eyes and gives lots of examples of how other societies (some with similar and some with different beliefs and cultures to mine), do things differently, and still operate well or even better.
17. I have everything I need, and I am thankful
I used to travel with 13 kg of luggage for about a year. And even then, I had things with me that I didn’t really need. What I need is health, and I am lucky to have it. In the end, everything else is a luxury.
18. Family is who I can count on and those who cherish my success
Many of my immediate family (the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.) do not know what I have done in the last 30 years. And I do not know anything about them either. My family is not defined only by blood.
19. Sexuality starts after 25
Before then, I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted.
20. The sexiest part of the body is the soul
Someone can have the most beautiful face and the best body, and be the most intelligent person on earth, but without a good soul, it barely means something to me.
21. Men cry a lot
I do not understand the common belief that women cry more than men. To clarify, I am not pointing out, that crying is a bad thing – on the contrary – I am a big fan of showing emotions. However, I realised that men cry A LOT. And mostly, they cry a lot, because they have been hiding their emotions for ages, and at one point (why is it when they meet me?!) they just explode.
22. No one cares about my youtube videos
Life is full of trials and errors.
23. Being myself is the best for everyone
I learned that pretending to be a quiet, diplomatic and reasonable person, just to please someone, is wrong. I used to do it in the past. As a result, people started to love me for being someone who I am not, and I started to dislike myself for pretending to be someone else.
24. I can’t change the past
I had some bad experiences in the past. I met some terrible people, made stupid mistakes and wrong decisions. However, it is in the past, and I can’t change anything about that, I can just accept it and move on.
25. I can shape my future
Since I can’t change the things from the past, I can work on my future. I can learn from my mistakes, from unhealthy relationships, and I can shape my skills, my character and my life the way it feels good and healthy to me.
26. Perfect is an illusion
Nothing in this world is perfect, and everything is chaos.
27. Never regret
I laugh about all of the stupid things that I have done in my life. And I do not regret that I haven’t done anything, because I always do everything that I want.
28. The first wrinkles come with 30, and the pimples never leave
If you think that your teenager skin issues disappear with age, then you are wrong.
29. I love to spent time with myself
One of the most amazing things I’ve learned in my 30 years of life is to be alone. I learned how to be alone without feeling lonely, and I mastered how to enjoy, appreciate and love the time with myself. I wrote something here about how to travel solo without feeling lonely.
30. Ageing is a privilege
First of all, the fact that I was born is a miracle. Imagine, just a little difference in the circumstances in my mothers or fathers life, and they would not even meet. Moreover, something between 1 – 3% of people die before 30. So, getting older is a privilege for which I am thankful!